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The Dead Coyote

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I pulled my car up to a post marker off the side of the highway, and there hung a dead coyote. Its head was tied to the post with bailing wire His face was covered in blood and his glassy eyes were still open staring at the broken sky. its tongue was hanging out and drizzling. I feel anger and sorrow for this murdered creature. I wanted to untie his body and bury his soul somewhere remote. a secret place where he could rest. The coyote, a friend, but they stuck him on display wasting his life away. They cut …

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The Thing With A Personality

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There’s a feeling deep inside every human being, a tiny suspicion about something that lurks around in reality. It cannot be seen nor heard, because it hides itself. It can visit you with it’s clues! It’s the abnormal shadow in the green trees. It is in those abandoned hills, and in the darkness of an attic. It loves the moonlit night with an eerie presence. It loves to hide at the bottoms of the ocean like the white whale that killed Captain Ahab. It is in Grandma’s old cellar. You can feel it while looking at a crystal waterfall, or …

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There’s An Owl In My Tree

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Avoiding the coyotes and the other things that creep and crawl upon the skin, in the darkness of the earth, he follows the whispers from the mountains. He follows them to the source. He sits there with the rain falling into his hand from the black sky above and cups it carefully, staring into the liquid. His crystal eye is full of passion for the Creative Powers. Where the old trees stand strong and the sandstone is red, he hides in the shadows. Where his bare feet wonder those ageless stone lands, silence bears full witness. This boy travels the …

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The Bear – A True Story

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Today I sleep away in this slumber and awoke to a footstep and then another My campfire was still smoking. The morning light was close but an not quite. The blue haze of the night lurked around my tent. The wind dashed through the trees. Then the clouds under the moonlight slid silently over the mountains. All alone, I had wandered across this countryside, and then rested away in my camp. The fire burned, and danced through the night. I made it very big to keep me from fright. This was a deep cemetery of trees! Very old they were! …

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Knowledge of Trees

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Every now and then, there is a strange silence on that mountain that finds its own way into our little town. Mysterious animals shroud themselves in the forests up there, beneath the cloud scraped skies. Alone and dirty on quiet afternoons, I like to leave the town on foot entering into those trees on the mountain’s edge. The great forest always knows when I am coming. I climb to a hill just below the mountain and sit down on top of it to take a break, letting a little sunshine bathe me. Ever since I was a kid, I’m used …

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Life is Forever a Mystery!

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Summer is near. Hopefully the clouds will come and bring rain upon the Colorado Plateau and Great Basin. These two enormous and uncanny deserts are my church, where untouched secrets still lurk; where wild creatures roam unscathed. There is good and evil in this little conundrum of life, but everything serves a purpose. Our reality cannot be understood with any theory. Humans can try, but I don’t think they will ever succeed in defining our infinite existence. Science and math cannot describe the beauty of a thunderstorm roaring across the land, becuase it can’t describe how I feel inside. For …

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Trying to Understand My Existence

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There is a reason I write about the desert, and other places of beauty. When I’m out in the middle of nowhere; far from cities, institutions, or establishments, It feels awesome and secure. So I’ve come to the conclusion that humans are in a deep load of shit. They keep manifesting their oppression in different ways. If I write about the wilderness, it keeps me balanced. The images of mountains, trees, and wind, these beautiful dreams are painted to my memory, and they bring understanding. I hear the wind when I feel confined, or wherever oppression pervades. Society is everywhere, …

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My Affinity For Trees

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When I photograph the landscape, the trees are the most profound models. Their twisted shapes tease my spiritual universe, manifesting great feelings to my heart. When I see the shapes of trees, and stand in their shadows, and touch the bark of slithering branches, I respect the intelligence and kindness that whispers softly from those fleshy-wooden centers. They seem to communicate with compassion. They love life in unconditional ways; great peacemakers in a hardened, troubled world; patient creatures, with the greatest definition of understanding. I?ve wanted to emulate their calmness, but I envy their beauty. Cemented in one place, they …

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Another Desert Dream

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The thunder and wind are acting strange this evening. The crickets are serenading. I’m standing there are the mesa edge watching the sun scatter its rays through gaps in the clouds. The desert becomes glowing red, and the rain sparkles through the sun’s rays, soaking the monstrous cottonwoods below, bathing them in a deep yellow light. All is quiet, except the wind, thunder, birds, and crickets. I watch the lightning strike the desert back and forth in the mystery of the moment, randomly hurling itself out of dark thunderheads that engulf the desert in shadow. These canyons are my home, …

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When Close Friends Fade Away

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It’s real funny, but I thought some friends could last forever, that they would always be someone you could lean on? But even close friends come and go. They soon fade from your life and become distant, pleasant memories. It’s real sad in a way, because you build an attachment and relationship with them, and then they’re gone? Maybe I’ve been that way too, but I thought friends could last a lifetime? Despite my mistakes and imperfections, loved ones have always been there for me through thick and thin. And in tough times, family will always be there when I …

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How the Dawn Inspires

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Our family went south of Cedar City and almost made it to Arizona. There was a new area that we had never been before, and it was awesome. Big red rock cliffs came jutting out of the ground like backbones. Creosote bushes and various cacti decked the landscape clear to the horizon. We left Cedar about 6:00 A.M. before the sun even came up, just right before dawn. The Pine Valley Mountains, located south of Cedar City began glowing in a soft purple hue and then turned pink, red, and orange. The sky was burning red. The whole vista was …

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Dreaming of Bristlecone Pines

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The wind pushes through the forest like a wild stallion, roaring in a thousand rivers. In the mountains around my home, Bristlecone Pines stand high on the edges of cliffs and mountain peaks; catching and shredding the wind in their twisted branches, making it whistle and wail! I’ve been up there on those mountains, in places where no other man has ever been. I’ve befriended those ancient monsters of peace. They have chosen to grow in the most barren places. They are wise for their perseverance, and for their stubborn lives. They were on my mind tonight. I was day-dreaming. …

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Uncomfortably Restless

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It’s constantly agitating; something keeps bothering me, but I can’t identify the source? I’m dubious? There is this constant impulse to wander off somewhere? But school is an anchor. Why do I feel distraught? This city is surrounded by desert on all sides, and I’m pondering on deep beauty. We all dream. We all feel cut off. We are lonely, and need a freedom that is hard to reach. So continue to survive, because the mysteries are still singing. I can see the clouds as they travel the sky, and they are restless. There’s a quote I’ve heard, and have …

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The Sound of My Life

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My heart is humble in the face of endless landscapes and places where the modern world hasn’t invaded. Beautiful places are safe. I sometimes fear the world that we all live in. I fear those human beings that can crash airplanes into tall buildings killing thousands of people. At the same time, I fear leaders who use war and try to justify their killings. How can a war justify dead woman and children lying on the ground? Where does someone escape an ignorant worthless existence? Animals kill, but Animals never instituted a holocaust like humans are capable of doing. It’s …

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Unforgiven – The Way it Really was?

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After watching the western movie titled; Unforgiven, it reminded me of a trip my brother and I made out to Nevada, to a place called Pioche. During the late 1800’s, They say Pioche was one of the most ruthless towns in the West. It was a busy mining town and a war zone. If you visited, you ran the chance of being harassed or even killed. Murder wasn’t uncommon in Pioche, Nevada. It was also common in many other colonial frontier settlements at the time. In my opinion, this was the true history of America’s expansion into the West while …

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A Few Words…

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Today’s high temperature was 25 degrees. Tonight’s low will be 6 Degrees. My family left town yesterday for the weekend, and I decided to stay behind. So it’s just me and the dogs, and I took them west of Cedar on a hike. This town is right on the borderline of the Colorado Plateau, and there are mountains. So it seems like this place gets more snow than the desert. I journeyed out there today and there wasn’t much snow. But had an enjoyable time, and made it back safely. The other day I almost got stranded. My vehicle is …

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The Earthquake in Iran

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After September 11th, the chaos was all over the news. The world was showing Americans support and sympathy for their loss and tragedy. I remember how big and tragic the event was. When you turned on the TV, almost every channel was covering the Events of 9/11. Now a huge earth quake slams Iran killing more then 20,000 people, but I hardly see any news on basic network television? Yet, when President Bush gives a “Live Speech” normal television programming is disturbed. Yesterday they had the usual garbage on TV, and nothing special dedicated to those who lost their lives …

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Out There On the Desert

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I wrote this a few years ago, and was reading it tonight from a past journal. I am reposting it here to share. I hope that anyone who is feeling lonely tonight will read these words and feel comforted by deeper feelings. When I am sad, that is when I write my best thoughts and it’s when I dream my best dreams. Life is too short to take for granted. We all need beauty and love and we all need a friend that is willing to listen. ________________________________ Out There on the Desert When I go into the desert on …

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It’s Halloween

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Winter is drawing nearer to the desert. Leaves have fallen from the trees. The mountains are no longer green. It’s time for a change in beauty, white snow covered valleys ready for silent dreams.

What a Day

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To My Dad in Salt Lake – If your reading this; I just want you to know that I am grateful for everything you’ve done for Joe and me. You’ll always be my Number One Father! Nothing will transcend that either. Actions always speak louder then words! ======================= Journal Entry – I nearly drowned in classes today. I’m taking a Middle Eastern Politics class, Sociology, and another class titled Social Problems. They all seem connected. More and more, the education is challenging my beliefs and opinions. Wow!! Three wake-up calls today on the path towards awareness. I want to weed …

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Hundred Miles of Dirt Road

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I have the day off. There’s twenty dollars in my wallet and a car waiting for the desert’s wiry dirt roads. The desert is calling. Mental images of the land are dancing in my head. When we journeyed across Parowan Valley, past the alfalfa fields, and ranches; large numbers of ravens were everywhere. They were gathering in different locations. But they were bunched in large groups. Some looking like they numbered in the hundreds. What were they up to? Were they getting ready to travel somewhere? Even in the dead of winter, the ravens are always at home on the …

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Pictographs Across Parowan Valley

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Here’s an update on the trip across Parowan Valley; Mr. Harris had to baby-sit his two grandchildren Friday morning, so he was unable to accompany us. However, he drew us a map on paper, so we could find the hidden pictograph site that we’ve been unsuccessful in trying to locate at least a few times already. It was three years since I had been to the site, and thought I knew where it was originally, but didn’t. Thanks to Mr. Harris, we were able to locate the rock paintings in a small alcove in one of the many finger canyons. …

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Hiking Today

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I took my cousin, and brother hiking in some mountains across Parowan Valley today. They are located Northeast of Cedar roughly about 20 miles. We’ve made two attempts to locate a pictograph site that a kind fellow named Tom Harris, showed me about three years ago. It was like trying to find a lost gold mine. We found nothing, but our efforts weren’t fruitless. We got to see an awesome sunset, and everything was in a crimson glow. We didn’t get out of the canyon until after dark. The light of full-moon provided plenty, so we could locate the car. …

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From Summer to Autumn

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The Sunshine was cold this morning, and the grass was frosted. The sky was deep blue! The leaves are changing quickly. Yet, it is still September? I am not used to this early transition. It seems as though summer disappeared. The crickets are singing, but those evenings are numbered. In recent years we’ve had very warm autumns and winters. The cold spell is hopefully short. When it passes, it will warm up. Not like summer though. This is the ON/OFF season when Thunderstorms seem to strengthen, especially at lower elevations. Its prime time for the Monsoon rains, but the last …

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9/11 and the War on Terror

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My Perspective – On September 11, 2001, I was in the Madeleine Cathedral in Salt Lake City. I was there touring the church and wondered why so many people were mourning that day. A Journalist had been taking candid shots of people who were there, and he stopped me on my way out of the church and asked me about my feelings on the disaster that had taken place. He told me the entire story, and everything related. It sounded like nonsense at first, until I was able to go over to my dad’s work just a few blocks away. …

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First Day of Classes

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Every time I return back to classes and college studies, I get this weird restless feeling inside. Kind of like I don’t want to be here, but I am sticking it out. If I had my way, I’d be traveling the Southwest, and doing my photography. I wouldn’t be stuck to this tiny campus, nor this town and its boundaries. There’s no soul in all of this. But like usual, I’ll keep on going. It feels like everybody wants me to conform in certain ways, and the pressure is pushing from all directions. It never stops. Wanting to break free …

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Summer’s Ending

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I took my grandparents on a little outing today in the van. They’re truck has been broke down for about a month. My brother and our cousin have been trying to get my grandpa’s truck running, so he can keep the business running. Things have been tight lately. Today we went on a 234 mile round trip, and spent the whole time finishing a few chores, and enjoying the journey. We drove across the Arizona Strip on the way back home. Gigantic desert clouds blanketed the desert sky as far as the eye could see, and cloud shadows dotted the …

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Camping Alone and Taking Risks

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It’s true freedom when you go into the mountains all alone, and spend the night by yourself far away from any road or trail. We have some mountains behind our ranch here in Southern Utah and they are pretty isolated. I was in my late teen years, when I would often venture into them on a regular basis during the summer. I dodged a few rattlesnakes. My stupidity, and hunger for fear clouded my judgment at times. Always, I’ve had my eye on the unknown, hidden things lurking in those mountains. The Blue Sky against Mother Earth, and the smell …

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Coming back From Salt Lake

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On my way back home from a trip to Salt Lake City, I watched the sun drop in the west. Its rays illuminated a mass of rain clouds above some mountains along I-15. They glittered in colors of red, purple, and maroon. As I watched that grand closing, I felt so grateful for life. An eagle silhouetted in black by the setting sun was sailing on the winds of bad weather. He was soaring below great thunderheads, and lightning was flashing everywhere. He was a small creature compared to the enormous expanse desert. Without his presence though, everything would have …

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Dealing with the Hate

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On some days, I wander what is wrong with this world. The confusion that hate creates is nothing more then an unreasonable burden. Some people are probably deep in their own pain. I believe that every Human Being has the power to change their ways and drop the hate, racism, and stereotypes. Weeding out personal egos has always been a challenge in me. Racism is going to die hard in Amerikkka. It’s sooo deeply rooted in the US Nation; it won’t die without a fight. Resistance is the only way. Could the fact be simple? If hate ever disappeared from …

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