Uncategorized

On some days, I wander what is wrong with this world. The confusion that hate creates is nothing more then an unreasonable burden. Some people are probably deep in their own pain. I believe that every Human Being has the power to change their ways and drop the hate, racism, and stereotypes. Weeding out personal egos has always been a challenge in me.

Racism is going to die hard in Amerikkka. It’s sooo deeply rooted in the US Nation; it won’t die without a fight. Resistance is the only way.

Could the fact be simple? If hate ever disappeared from this world, and people realized what a beautiful circle that this planet creates, maybe there could be room for change? There is a purpose to this life.

If this a personal paradigm, then help me break it. My perception is forever evolving and this message is probably nothing more then jabber.

After watching a documentary on the Grand Canyon tonight, I quickly became homesick. I’ve been there when the tourists have gone into hibernation and the winter snows have settled upon the ledges. The South Rim is very peaceful in the wintertime and I hope to plan a trip soon. It will help me rejuvenate from the modern society that has sucked my spirit dry.

Way out there, in the middle of those canyonlands, the stars glow like candles at night. It’s a desert dreamer’s escape from the reality that plagues this sad, sad world.

It was cloudy today, I thought it might rain. The weather cheered up though and it’s warm and sunny. The trees are calm and not much is happening in the little town of Cedar City.

While eating breakfast on the porch this morning, a hummingbird came into the yard pollinating the flowers, and it stayed for a while. Cute little fellow, he was happy!

We don’t see too many of them in mother’s yard. Out in Parowan where my grandmother has hummingbird feeders hanging all over the place – including the garden, there are plenty of them flying everywhere. They’ve nested on my grandma’s porch, in the light sockets where the bulbs hang out on the ceiling. They use the same nests every year and its fun just to sit there and watch them.

Southern Utah hummingbirds are very hyper, they often like to get into fights and play tag while feeding. Sometimes they forget your presence and come within arms reach of slamming ya. They have no fear, except when humans come near their nesting spots. Hummingbird mothers are very protective and can get nasty. It’s best to keep a safe distance away, lest you don’t mind getting pelted!

So a big part of summer is the hummingbirds. If it wasn’t for them, it wouldn’t be the same. Just like it wouldn’t be the same if you couldn’t hear a billion crickets serenading on those warm desert nights.

Today the rain clouds are coming in quickly. Last night it rained hard for about twenty minutes. Utah has been suffering a five year drought. Until about four days ago, the desert hasn’t seen a drop of rain. Fire danger was at extreme, and everything looked dried up. They say this Utah is the second driest in the US. Last summer, it was one fire after another.

The other day I went north of town in the direction the thunderheads were traveling. About 18 miles out, I parked the car on the desert and watched the sun slowly go down in the west. The Clouds became violent, and the lightning was so awesome! The thunder rumbled and echoed accross the landscape. The closer it came, the more power I felt. You know, I have a fear of lightning. But its power is in my soul. Every time its close, it seems to communicate. The rain came nice and cool. What a blessing it was for such a dry land.

I wasn’t home till after dark. The rains let up, but it was the most beautiful time. Those big clouds are blessings, and I wander how the farmers must feel? It sure took a while for the wet season to come and hope it stays.

There’s still blue sky outside as this is being written and those clouds are coming to visit this little town today. With them comes beauty, and I hope the rain falls heavy so the land can become greener.

I am so greatful for such things. They bring happiness.

Nathan Cowlishaw

Here’s another post for today. Just wanted to add some extra thoughts, that are either excessive, or depressive! Lets add to the idea of self-pity; how do you eliminate such a pitiful disease? Its a hard thing to overcome to a large extent. Learning proper compassion is much harder! You’re either serving your own agenda and interests, or your actually caring and helping other people! Trying to overcome the fact that you are an incredibly self-centered person, is like trying to dodge a hurdle as high as Mt. Everest. I thought I had somewhat overcame the issues of Selfishness, but no, I fell deep into self-pity. It’s an unmerciful and lonely world deep down there, with only you and your imagination.

People will shout at me, and keep shouting, but I can’t seem to hear the message. Maybe I’m carelessly avoiding the fact that I have to face up to the morality of being prideful, and uncaring.

Quit thinking of yourself. Stay Positive. Love thy neighbor as thyself. Be sure to endure to the end. Never be UNGREATFUL. Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you, etc…

The first challenge to becoming a better person is to quit running from the challenges, and face up to the challenges. Avoid hurting others, and be careful not to say things you don’t mean to say.

Dumping the Self-Interests is a major battle that will last for months. It’s been a friend when no others were around. But it?s a Demon that will destroy you.

Care for the less fortunate and be brave. Face up to your own selfishness tonight. Stop everything.

Tomorrow is the beginning of a New Day, the first day of the rest of your life.