Standing

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I know a man who never moved. Grew in the same place for multiple human lives… Arms raised since before the Spanish came through, before the Hohokam left their marks on the canyon stone. He doesn’t explain himself, because he has no voice and no mouth to tell the story… The wren built a home in his left side and he said nothing. The hawk used his shoulder for thirty seasons and he never complained. I’ve seen him at dawn when the Sonoran turns pink and the quail move through the brush like little thoughts you can’t quite hold. He …

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Braffits Creek, A Thread in the Great Basin

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Braffits Creek is a thin green thread stitched into a country most people only know from the airplane window; a wash of brown and sage and distance. Up close, the place smells like dust warming in the sun, like willow leaves and wet stone, like something living quietly where life isn’t supposed to be. The water doesn’t boast. It moves with the patience of old stories, slipping past cottonwood roots and basalt bones, keeping its voice low. The thing about the Great Basin is this: it doesn’t drain to any ocean. Everything stays. Water falls as snow or rain, wanders …

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My 44 Year Old Hands

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25 years this blog has weathered space and time and it was offline for a couple years with no backup. Thanks to an older backup XML file and the Wayback Machine, I’ve been able to restore the original journal that spans a quarter century of my life. This poem is a time warp from the poem I wrote, which is in the archives, titled: My 22 Year Old Hands… My 44 Year Old Hands These are my 44-year-old hands. Desert hands. Sun-cured. Split. Salted with years. They don’t move fast anymore, but they move like water in a dry wash …

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Sonoran Spring with the White Wings

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The White-Winged Sonoran SpringBy Nathan Cowlishaw In the desert sun, where the cacti grow,And the winds of change, forever blow,The White-Winged Doves, they come to know,The secrets of nature, that ebb and flow.Their wings a blur, as they take flight,A symphony of grace, in the morning light,Their destination clear, and in sight,To pollinate the saguaros, with all their might.They land on the spines, with a gentle touch,Their feathers ablaze, with the desert’s hush,And as they work, it’s almost too much,The beauty of nature, a sacred crutch.Their beaks dip in, to the nectar’s hold,A moment of bliss, in the desert’s gold,And …

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From Liberal to Conservative to Decolonized

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I was Liberal until I became educated & that turned me Conservative until I learned more and realized the whole damn thing was bullshit. That’s when I started to unlearn over the next two decades and realized everything I had ever been taught, indoctrinated with, and fed was BS – So I started breaking the windows of everything I knew, or thought I knew, and that’s where the beginning of the real education started. This unlearning is where true #Decolonization began, which is a positive term for me, because it was a re-awakening! Two decades later, I’m still deprogramming and rewiring as …

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Donald J. Trump is Propping Up Evil

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Trump is maintaining PURE EVIL. He’s propping up the same settler regime every single president has ever defended. An immoral empire of lies will continue to spawn immorality until truth prevails. Immorality can only begets more immorality. All of the corruption common people speak of regarding child exploitation and human trafficking, and the most vile darkness, is due to this colonialism. Trump props it up as he demonstrated brazenly at his appearance at Mt. Rushmore which was a slap in the face of Native People who revere the Black Hills as sacred. This long history of child abuse, people speak of in …

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Western Culture & White Privilege

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The majority of Americans or European Americans enjoy this little thing called, White Privilege. I will call it Wasicu Privilege or Colonial Privilege. Anglo Americans are all super privileged because we are on the receiving end, as recipients, of a centuries old unjust and illegal occupation – enjoying the fruits of our labors in the Stolen Lands of First Nations! The are still here, surviving and still fighting for a real voice in that system which gives them no actual representation in 2020. That is privilege, my friends! That’s the truth as I see it in YOUR Empire of Lies and Denials that continue …

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Hovering Up The Canyon

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Middle of the night during a dripping light storm Clouds dense like soup with a smooth humid stench permeating the mossy August air it came to me in the early morning around 2AM with a lowly hum shortly after orbs were playing tag which stirred me out of the deepest of sleeps They danced like ancient spirits and shimmered above the New Mexico pines near the Colorado line in a place off the road, I encamped on my way to Dulce on Jicarilla Apache Lands it was an old growth forest. It was where I saw the triangle craft hovering …

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Deeper in Metaphysical Southwest of Mars Arizona

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This morning my maroon-headed humming bird friend with the inch long beak was sitting on the oleander outside my window waiting for me to say hello. For a month before he was following me on morning walks in North Phoenix. I purchased two nectar feeders and I think that’s what he wanted from me? Now, it’s his turf and pesters me when the syrup gets too thick or runs out. In the same area, I have over thirty columnar cacti, mostly Trichocereus types; Bridgesii, Cuzcoensis, Peruvianus, Pachanoi; growing near the window. In my room I have three grow lights with …

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The Shadow Man: The Visitor

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I’m hearing the voices from the far distant past from a time when earth was on a different sphere I could see them roaming the empty landscape underneath the constant turquoise sky. And the valley floor went on forever beneath the bright hum of sun accompanying massive cloud ships. The calmness of the wind whipped up silent dust devils that soon hid their view. I now can hear their footsteps in the forest but something else walks through the undergrowth. I cannot spot his shadow even though I have always known who he is, because he came to me! He …

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Tonight, They Arrive

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Tonight, They Arrive! They came pouring through the portallike fiery starsspeaking in eternal languagesbeyond our thresholdwaking me, in the middle of the nightand awakening the soulto the biggest thrill of a millennium.Never thought this was possibleor even close to real butit’s happeningI’m leavingI’m gone.Going back into the portalheading for closerto the far-awaylistening to the little peoplesinging their strange themesinside these cobweb tunnelsdescending back in timeforward in a backwards senseAll beauty ripping loosefrom the seams of surrealityThis, a dream coming true, unfoldinga reality, beyond a vision.I welcome youInto this mystic. By Nathan Cowlishaw

The Real Narrative: Freedom and Liberty vs Authoritarianism

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Donald Trump is another plant. My intuition tells me one reason they installed him was to pacify the right-wing fervor that was growing to expel Federal control in Western States of public-lands. They knew Trump’s TV personality would make great theatrics. Talk about Fake News and politics. What’s going on in the South is another indicator. The False-Narrative is Trump vs The Establishment and the National Security State. The actual reality and narrative should be: Liberty vs Authoritarianism because they continue to divide and conquer us!!! That’s where none of us are getting with the program. That’s how Trump will …

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I Want to Burn My Past

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My “higher” self is really wrecking havoc on me today. A part of me wants to burn everything associated with my past and only look forward. This has nothing to do with my family. It’s all my regrets of past decisions affecting me in the present. I was sitting in my storage unit today where a leak in the ceiling had rotted a few of my old boxes of stuff and mildew is beginning the decomposing process. It affected some of my junk. As I started to sort through some of it, my past came back to haunt me. Things that …

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The Affinities that Plague Me

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Wish I knew myself better than I do; I have no clue why I have so much affinity for certain things but it’s more of a curse than a blessing sometimes and it feels maddening because there is nothing that easily enables me to connect the dots, like tonight! 99% of the people I have shared my thoughts with cannot interpret or decipher much of what I feel, see, or have experienced. But certain things/triggers/moments make me feel an undeniable connection that brings comfort; such as dancers in any sort of ceremony that I’ve been invited to… Sometimes, all I …

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Fresh from the Transfer

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Mind Opening Portalexploring the possibilitiesas infinite as they have becomeas soon as I had broken the windowsof everything I knew. Then, as if divinity stepped in,there he was with all thebeauty that he brought with himto give to his chosenunconditionally. Sentient spirits came fromout of the thundering abyssfrom the deep billows of the stormand down belowall was calm and mesmerizing. Somewhere out of this chaoscame a powerful peace that predatesour time and placethat came into our spaceand brought us together. It’s quite extraordinary,this unknown schemethat is more natural and mysticthan earth-made systemsAnd into this unknown we venture. by Nathan Cowlishaw

Aliens in My Early Life

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In my early life, not sure exactly when – some source of intelligence came to me when I was a child. It was not traumatic. It was nothing like being abducted or taken against my will and I was not violated and nothing questionable was committed against me. I have a definitive connection to the Universe outside of our planetary world here on Earth as a result. Whoever they were, wherever they came from; somehow they were involved in my upbringing. I have to give credit when it is due; they had profound influence during my development. There is no other way …

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My Life with UFOs

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I have noticed how many UFO Buffs get interested in the topic for a short while then get bored. Since 2013 now, I’ve been steadily dedicated to Ufology because of three unique close encounters that I witnessed with UFOs (or should I say intelligences?) that began in 2013. This didn’t make me a buff – it forever changed me into an obsessed researcher and the phenomenon haunts me these days. These incidents changed my life for better or worse. I believe my friend, Travis Walton’s story and many others who have either endured or were enlightened by these events. Many …

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They Are Returning

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hey Are Returning! As I was driving out on the highway tonightoutside of townwatching the sun disappear behind the mountainswith night settling incrimson slivers of lightigniting the bottoms of cloudships I felt the warm November windsof the snowy high desert plateauin an unusually hot winter It has been a decade since this mysterypaid me a visitbut the hills of juniper and pinionare calling meI could hear themas they distinctly whispered Tonight was a desert dance of red fierywith a light rain upon the snowand the stillness of the cloudsand the slightest breeze swirlingaround me after halting the vehicle and listening My …

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My Inter-Dimensional Self

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This heart of mine dreamsbecause I have a really beautiful soulthat knows and feels the mysteries of the EarthAnd recognizes the most subtle light in the canyonand the complex and simple sounds of the Unknown.I’ve prayed to my Creator, dailyverbally and in thoughts,and ponder aboutThe Creator of the Universe, dailyand wonder if he can really hear me, still?Somewhere, I’m out there in interstellar spacelistening to those far-distant starsand down in the trenches of the darkestparts of the Earth’s ocean –And I’m up there with the traveling snowbeing swept off the highest peaksand down in the desert bottoms wherethe whirlwinds whip and roam.Love …

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Finding The Other Person

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These days, I see other people posting deep things on social networks like Facebook, and I start to think how vain it is to put important content or anything with a more serious personal tone on a place like a corporate social network. Have we become such frail and hollow beings that we no longer find independence? This is why it is important for me to have a journal and a space to pen my more personal and intimate thoughts with a maturity that no social network is worthy of. While stating the obvious above, here’s what’s on my mind… …

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The Western Vulture Has It Backwards

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I’m anti-secular and I don’t mean in the simple religious sense but in a deep spiritual context that involves the entire physical universe and reality as we know it. I truly believe that science cannot even begin to fathom or comprehend just how beautifully supernatural our waking reality is. Our entire Earth and all creation is full of countless intelligences. Rocks, trees; anything composed of matter/atoms are intelligent. I believe many Native nations had a scientific and intricate knowledge of this but the Western Vulture has it all backwards…

Honey-lit Afternoon

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Dreams of a honey lit aspen afternoon Smiles full of laughter Trying to keep a straight face Lost in the reality of it… In the simplicity of your dignity and grace Coming off the mountain And meandering off the desert mesa With you nearly by my side On a sunny summer afternoon Singing folks songs… And I look back on it all And it all comes back to me In the moment By Nathan Cowlishaw

Real Beauty

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Real beauty surpasses the physical realm and is eternal. There is a reason we change worlds while this life is short. Our evolution is infinite even though we all must face death one day. by Nathan Cowlishaw

Date with Jazmin

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The wind softly sliced through pinion branches while the sunset’s crimson fire burned the rock face Imprinting trees in shadow. As purple monsoon clouds shifted. in the early August air The chorus of insects sang ancient flooding our senses with ethereal sensations. Somewhere, between reality and dream

Looking For Answers

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Due to lack of sleep last night, I’m feeling somewhat mixed-up on this fine Friday. We had a string of car burglaries on our street late last night, and luckily my buddies and I happened to be in the right place to call the police and they were busted pretty fast off the cuff. This is not a big deal because I’ve already got enough excitement to exceed my daily dose this whole week. I’ve got a lot of stuff on my mind because I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. Things are all up in the air …

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She is my new muse… An artist is she…

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I can hear the soft whisper of the wind as it gently brushes the window blinds and evening starts to set-in… The Robins are singing in the late afternoon summer. Fine sediment is blowing in from the dust bowl west of town. And I’m just thinking… thinking about a lot of things. Life is full of beauty with the simple, if you just let. them. be.

Originality in a Sea of Carbon Copies

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When looking for jewelry, watches, stuff like that, it’s hard to find ONE piece that stands out in an ocean of carbon copies at all the pawn shops, thrift stores, and jewelry storefronts. Human beings are very similar. It’s hard to find someone with the attractive nature of being a rugged individualist. So have the confidence to be different and separate yourself from the sheeple. I’m looking for the perfect timepiece with imperfect characteristics that compliment my beautiful turquoise watch band. 🙂

A Relentless Rant and Endless Beauty

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How do you show contempt for someone in such a satisfying way as not to start hating them? I don’t know, but I’m very angry. For now, I’ve got the the sun-baked shadows in Moab to keep me calm and focused. An air-conditioned hotel reminds me of the lavish excesses of American civilization; I’m tired of the complexity associated with soothsayers, snake oil salesman, and uninformed minions & consumers of American fat. Why should I fear saying what’s in my heart without reprisal? I don’t fear. It’s no loss of mine to keep my soul and reject the vanities of …

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Yanny Country: Bluff, Utah…BEWARE!

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It’s late at night. The crickets and gas station lights are buzzing into the darkness. There’s hardly any street lights through Bluff. We ate at the Twin Rock Cafe just up the road before sundown and I think the Yannies are out, tonight. Just across the San Juan is the Navajo Rez. I’m staying in the tidy little Kokopelli Inn, writing a few brief thoughts and getting ready to go for a nightly run which feels a little intimidating… There are ghosts roaming the night. Little people move up the arroyos somewhere out on Cedar Mesa, south of Bluff, busy …

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When You Leave This World

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You see, I love my friends, and making new ones. In the end, when you leave this world, it won’t matter what you did for yourself in this life. What will matter is how you treated others and whether or not they’re going miss you and remember you!

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