Ramblings

Unimportant rants or other pieces of information that are not considered post-worthy

Sudden Changes

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It felt like summer again, here in Saint George. Last night it was real mild. I’m heading north this weekend to spend some time with my grandparents. Last night I drove west of Saint George, into Nevada again, just to go see some Joshua Trees out there. Man is it an amazing lost world. There is so much beauty, The highway cuts through the desert, but it still feels primordials. At home last night, I did some writing on my computer, and ate Pinion Nuts while enjoying the late night warmth. It is the middle of October and feels like …

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Walls of Existence

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When I speak of tearing down the walls of existence, I mean in a peaceful and non-violent way. An individual can also tear down the walls of their own Existence. On the large scale, I want to change the culture that surrounds me; either that, or abandon it entirely. I believe what Ghandi said, that no conflict could be justified, even if it was for a good cause. So my passionate cause would have to be a peaceful revolution. I just don’t understand why some have the desire to inflict harm on others? And how some countries have an arrogant …

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Ghost Piano

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I can smell the rotting wood floor, warped by a hundred years. The roof of the skeleton is still up, but a whole corner of the building is caved in. Bats hang in the corners, mice scurry underneath. I lift up some rusty sheet metal and a kangaroo rat darts blindly into the desert. The wind beats the old building and it creaks and groans with pain. A tumble weed runs through the center of town. There?s no humans here, no cars, but mine. Off in the distance bone colored mountains dance on the surface. There are no clouds in …

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Edward Abbey

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Another person to educate your self about is Edward Abbey, a father to the Environmental Movement. I’ve read his books Desert Solitaire, and The Monkey Wrench Gang. Both demonstrate Edward’s intense love for the wilderness, but they also expose his racism towards Indigenous People, and his view that the wilderness was “untouched.” After reading these two books though, I feel that Cactus Ed was more then just some rugged individualist. They say he offended everybody, but the truth is, there’s no excuse for racism, bigotry, or intolerance. To the oppressive and colonial powers, and to Manifest Destiny, it sure must …

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Pristine Wilderness

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Tonight’s post is a little off on a tangent. But it deals with the false notion of Pristine Wilderness. First of all, educate yourself about who Michael Fatali is, and what he supposedly did in “vandalizing” the Delicate Arch here in Utah. I posted the following response on a thread over at http://photo.net/ – Think of this… The American Government desecrated Glen Canyon when they created Lake Powell. When they damned the Colorado river, in many TRUE aspects, they were “vandalizing” the canyon… Sorry people, I just don’t believe in a pristine wilderness. Michael Fatali made a mistake, but the …

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The Daydream

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In a classroom, the professor’s voice becomes background interference. My mind is somewhere on the landscape, far off in the Great Basin of Nevada. Those big cities become ghost towns. Wind and dust pass through the shattered windows of empty skyscrapers. There’s no electricity anywhere, except for one buzzing radio sucking on its last drop of current. The storm grows enormous, sweeping across the landscape, causing everything to disappear. I’m dreaming of the deepness of rivers, and skeletons moving through the darkness of night. Sand is blowing from the dunes in summer. The Ocean’s flooding the coastlines. Hurricanes and tornadoes …

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What An Evening

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Someone rear ended me in Saint George, tonight. I don’t blame them though; they are victims in a way. The driving culture of Southern Utah is chaotic. Too many people in a hurry is the problem. It’s the dysfunctional fast lane society that we are all plugged into. The lady got a citation for following too close. My new vehicle is a 2005 Dodge Neon, maroon colored. So, I am going to need a new bumper.

Undying Moments of Quiet

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I?m at the point in my life where I want to relax, and drop all material things. But I am plugged in. There?s no escape. There are those few quiet moments where I can see the cottonwoods bending in the wind, waving their mountainous branches. Or I can let the cold wind blow against my face on a late summer evening, sitting on the ledge of a sandstone cliff. I pull out of the fast lane for a few moments of intense silence, and remember when times were not so rushed, when I was innocent. My dream is in those …

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The Wanderlust Grows

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The wanderlust returns? For now though, I am enjoying my schooling in Saint George. I am home in Southern Utah. I think I have found my niche in the arts. For the first time this semester I am taking art classes at the beginning level: oil painting, watercolor, and drawing; except for advanced photography. These classes are giving me instruction in areas where my talents are now being challenged. An oil painting class at the beginning level is a struggle. Yet today, I was painting and noticed that everything was falling into place. I had my own style. It actually …

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Everett Ruess Days

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This looks like this is right up my alley, I’m going to it! I have a lot of respect for Mr. Everett Ruess. I read his wilderness journals a few times, after a close relative recommended his writings to me. In all honesty, I have to give credit to Everett for being a major inspiration, and role model. I share a lot of affinity with his ideas, and his outlook! Plus, he ventured into the same wilderness that I love so much. He heard the wilderness calling him. If you hear it calling, BEWARE! At the age of twenty, Everett …

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Using WordPress Now

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Well, I am going to try WordPress for a while and see if I like it! Earlier today, I imported all my entries from my Movable Type blog. I still have my Movable Type installation. I?ve spent the better part of this day, trying to figure out how to use WordPress. Things have been pretty chaotic, but the more I learn and become familiar, the easier this will be. The reason for switching over to WordPress is because there are more free templates available, it is open source software, and I like the many plug-ins available! Also I might be …

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An Introspective Ramble

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I’m the old prospector who never found gold, but fell in love with the wild. My home is out there in the wild, where I discovered quiet. I don’t claim to know everything, but it is my desire to remain uncertain about a lot of things. This allows me to be more open-minded to the perspectives of others. When I write about the landscape, I focus on the images that I see, or remember, and record how I feel. Before this blog, I was writing in paper journals. Writing is something I appreciate, even if it were for me. I …

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Farewell, Old Flagstaff Town

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In my sleep, I heard the wind softly whispering through the bedroom window all night. The mountain air moved about the bedroom walls, flapping the posters, shaking the window blinds. As the sun came up in the east, the soft rays came through the window and painted the bedroom wall. Last night, I slept on the urgency to leave Flagstaff. I don’t really want to leave this town, this dream. Flagstaff has become home. But the larger southwest is my home, from low desert, to the ponderosa highlands. My home is where giant thunderclouds sweep the dry desert with curtains …

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The Jackelope

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The Jackelope is a rabbit species that inhabits the Western United States, and unlike any other type of rabbit, they grow antlers that are similar to a Mule Deer, or an Antelope. Evolutionary Theorists cannot explain as to how the Jackelope is able to produce antlers, or where this creature might have evolved. There is no evidence to explain how the Jackelope uses it’s antlers, or whether the animal is territorial or not. Walking into the Sunshine Truck Stop the other day, I saw a Jackelope mounted to the wall. Even dead you don’t see very many representations of this …

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About Northern Arizona

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Sometimes, I feel caught up in a doomed system, or that I am about to fail myself. But when I see beautiful rock formations and the nimble clouds as they pass through the heavens, I am reminded that life is so beautiful; that to keep going is the ultimate goal. Now I just need to vent, maybe even in an abstract way. That is what this journal is for… The sky is deep black, and I am seeing the infrared trees. I am crossing the wasteland that stretches farther then the eye can see. The desert shrubs and creosote speak …

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Do they have Souls?

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Yes, I believe that all living things have a soul. The defining characteristic for this is that most creatures have a desire to survive and reproduce, or at least the ability to do such. It is also my assumption that there doesn’t need to be a mother-child bond within every living species either. Most mammals would share this trait, but it may only play a small role in the kigdom of life. I also believe that plants and trees have deep spirits, but they don’t provide for, or take care of their offspring. Here’s a prime example of what I’m …

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The Culture of Roomates

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Okay, I am trying to get a handle on room mates. They are starting to feel like family, so they are a social institution much like school, government, or the Mafia. So far, I enjoy the room mates, but the disagreements grow deeper. The key is silence, and learning to listen to them when they talk. For my Cultural Anthropogy class, I am supposed to do field work. I’ve been eyeing the social interaction of my room mates. How do other room mates interact with each other?

Short of Crazy

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Well, I left Southern Utah, and I didn’t think I could. I left those familiar surroundings behind. My family is back in Utah, and I have no relatives in Northern Arizona. It has finally become quiet in my life. What I become absent from, I grow fond of. But my patience is strong, and I love a new start. If the good old AZ becomes my home, then so be it. My junk car cannot go off this mountain, because I’m afraid it wouldn’t make it back up. There is the desert below, that I want to see. There are …

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My Second Week in Flagstaff

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In Flagstaff, Arizona, I’ve been taking a Navajo History class at the college. Tonight I learned one of the original names for the San Francisco Peaks. The Navajo call them Dookoosliid, and yellow is their color. The peaks are sacred. Dookoosliid is the western boundry of Dinetah, the homeland of the Navajo People. Tonight, radiant yellow clouds glistened above the San Francisco Peaks. They were yellow, and then dark orange. Soon, everything turned into a soft purple glow as the sun disappeared. I want to hear the wind whip and howl through the pines, through the darkness of these woods. …

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Moving to Flagstaff, Arizona

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I have lived a total of six days in Flagstaff now. I don’t know what to think of this place yet? I love the singing Ponderosa Pine that engulf the sprawling town. There are so many trees, that I couldn’t even find my way around. A few times, I got lost. This town is actually environmentally friendly; at least when compared to the towns of Utah. A lot of ravens take up residency too. It’s a quiet place, except for the trains. They sound their horns at all hours. It isn’t bothersome though. Compared to Southern Utah, this area is …

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The American Illusion

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“Money controls too many decisions in the world today,” says my brother, after discovering our parents have been forced to leave home, for better paying jobs! They seem like poor cogs in the wheel of civilization. Poor mutes that depend on the beast to merely survive. What would happen if all the little workers stopped working, or supporting the beast? Would it really spark any biblical end? No, the sun would still come up the next morning. The way of the Beast, is a dead end, since the beast will go belly-up, when fuel runs out. America and the material …

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Conjuring the Past

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Something isn’t right, it’s never right! I don’t know whether I’m depressed or just restless? However, I am enjoying school very much. Finally, I have classes that I can relate to, and people I can discuss political issues with. But the begging landscape keeps pulling me away from civilization, into the shadowy wilderness of Juniper hills, and deep filled canyons of silence. As I am walking home through the campus, after classes, I’m enjoying the blue sky filled with small white clouds. It’s hot outside, but there isn’t any desert wind. Walking under campus ponderosa, the sun sifts through pine …

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The Monstrosity of Lake Powell

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My latest excursion was a trip to Lake Powell, with my uncle. We spent the weekend there, and I was amazed how much the water level has dropped, leaving behind a thick white bathtub ring from the previous water level. The skeletons of dead cottonwoods, crumbling sandstone cliffs, and bleached cliff dwellings are all that remain from the original beauty of Glen Canyon. The landscape looks like a cemetery of all things drowned by Lake Powell. I feel sad and angry; I feel a few rednecks robbed Glen Canyon of its beauty when deciding to construct the artificial Glen Canyon …

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Spanish Treasure n’ Lost Gold

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There are several stories about lost gold mines and Spanish treasure in Southern Utah. After all, this land was once occupied by old Mexico. My grandpa warned me to stay away from the stories. They could drive anybody crazy who listened to them. I was in a bakery in Cedar City and overheard two bearded guys talking about a possible gold mine that one of them found. Then one individual started telling a story about a crazy hermit that spent an entire lifetime searching for lost gold. He became desperate and found a cave in the mountains near Cedar City …

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Sad Thing Happened Today

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Today, My brother, my cousin and I were coming back across a very remote area on the Arizona Strip on our way back from Toroweap, of the Grand Canyon. That is where we had been camping. You have to traverse 64 miles of Primitive dirt road to reach this part of the canyon, and we had some bad luck while heading home. My cousin took his truck because it offered 4-wheel drive, but his tire went flat because of a tear. We had some help from a stranger, and that was a lucky thing. We thanked him. After an hour …

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Rat Race of Modern Life

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The sky burned into ashes, leaving the vista shady and tender for my barren eyes to absorb. I’ve dodged the city. What a catchy place! Even on the nighttime highway, and in my rearview mirror; someone’s headlights felt unsettling? This whole week, the tiny spurs of reality have been stabbing at my heart. Then, a brief moment on a rain swept desert was curing all the misery? Please disqualify me from rat race of modern life.

Ditching the Square House

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This morning, my bag was finally packed after inserting instant mash potatoes and Top Ramon. My cook’n pot is tight ‘n secure. My car is full of gasoline with blankets in the trunk. I’m prepared for the boonies, and now I’m feeling reckless, and something is waiting. God, please, I’m leery of this formidable square house telling me how to behave and how to live. The TV is a non-stop chatter box. Society keeps rambling on… Everything has a purpose, but your face is in nature, it heals my silliness. Pity me for feeling more reclusive every hour. Damn! I …

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Give Me An Escape

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I picture myself somewhere in a sandstone canyon on the Colorado Plateau; a deep gully in the belly of Mother Earth. Rock walls tower hundreds of feet above my head. Looking up into a narrow sky, I see clouds drift slowly in the heavens. But really, I’m actually typing a message on the internet. There is tremendous pressure to disappear into the boonies, beyond the reaches of my home town. A reckless wisdom taunts my footsteps, speaking to me in windy whispers. The trees have eyes looking at me. Listen to the forests howling in distant mountains. Giant Ponderosas filter …

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Hypocritical Dude

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I enter the abominable church doors of a mall while listening to elevator music echoing down hallways of painted diversity, of various stores. Maybe I’ll go window-shop and purchase a book? I stroll around with money in my pocket, supporting the system that I may despise? The establishment cuddles my sweet tooth for french fries and pizza. Afterwards a movie fills a spot on a lazy afternoon, a horror flick fresh after a hearty meal. Feeling superficial in my heart, I wonder why I am plugged into this worldly infest of salad bars, and restaurants; and a town full of …

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Canyon Country Western Arts

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I am not satisfied with the current design for this weblog, so I am going to change things around a bit. It was supposed to be an experiment, but I’ve become greatly attached to this. I haven’t quite figured out how to use it? There is two other places that I do some serious writing; my personal hardback journal, and my notepad where poems are born. The blog is more informal, but highly personal? This morning, I’m just waiting on some clothes in the dryer, and then I’m headed to the Canyon Country Western Arts Festival which is just a …

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