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Everett Ruess and Chris McCandless

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There are two individuals that have influenced me heavily in their outlook; Chris McCandless and Everett Ruess. Both discovered truth in ways most will never imagine. They saw a beauty as distant and far away as the stars. It was ignited through their visions and words. Everette explains my sentiments so well and I have affinity for his thoughts: “I have always been unsatisfied with life as most people live it. Always I want to live more intensely and richly. why muck and conceal one’s true longings and loves, when by speaking of them one might find someone to understand …

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Teachable Moments in Grand Canyon

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A couple of years ago I was giving a Hummer tour in the Grand Canyon with a bunch of Back Easterners. It was mid-July and about 110 degrees Fahrenheit, outside. We pulled off the rocky road road to take a short break and stretch. The road winds it’s way down into the inner gorge of the canyon via Whitemore Wash to river mile marker 187 on the Colorado River. It is one of only two access points that can get you that close to the river in a 4×4. During the break we walked over to a cluster of Barrel …

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Storytelling & Snow Covered Landscapes

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The snow covers the land in a thick white blanket with sunshine sparkling all over the mountains and trees. The sky is hard turquoise with soft clouds traveling over the new winter-land. For three days it snowed continuously. It reminds me of the deep heart of Navajoland near the Four-Corners, Arizona. This is the Escalante Desert around Cedar City, Utah, which is usually brown and thirsty. This past summer monsoon storms were disappointingly scarce compared to what I remember as a child when rain would turn streets into rivers around town. I miss those times traveling around the Navajo Reservation …

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The Heart is Innocent

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The heart knows not reason just what it feels. It isn’t any more complex then a child that likes to play in all their innocence. So because the heart is like a little child it doesn’t always know better and it makes so many mistakes. Perhaps that is why logic is there to keep it in check so it doesn’t run too wild. My heart knows love and can hardly be contained. It leads me into a lot of pain on occasion. I’m learning to keep it in check but I also listen to it more then anything else. I’m …

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Earth’s Silence

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Away from darkness a dreamer’s journey begins towards incredible healing. His vision conjures up images from the bottoms of waking hours. Those spent thoughts were turning up nothing. The imagination was sad because it did it all in vein and trial. Yet, here he wanders beneath the shield of sky, crossing the beautiful Desert that flows through him like a river. Out there is where all of the hidden wounds have been sewn. When young, he knew not his fear. Now he knows. This is my own walk on the Red Road across a cheerful landscape, a vista of quality …

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As it is Happening

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That old familiar wanderlust is coming back and I am once again listening to the wind. Talk about footloose! Why is it happening? It’s like Jack London’s Call of the Wild. I am fighting a strong temptation to flee and travel into desolation, isolation and utter solitude. One day I may tempt fate and head into the unknown… I’m listening to the chaotic-symphonic chorus of crickets outside my backyard door with two blue heelers sleeping in the tall grass. Their feet twitch in miniature spasms as if they are sprinting in their dog-dreams. Animals do have visions. Much time has …

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Classes and Havasupai

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Well I may be heading back to Havasupai even though it’s closed for the next several months. They may let me back in if I volunteer to help reconstruct the campground and trails below the village. Every year for the rest of my life, I will travel to Havasupai because it is forever tied to my soul. The introspection I went through the night of the big flood was life-changing and the muddy water really spoke to me. Now I dream and contemplate the beauty that surrounds my life and I am grateful to be SO ALIVE! Classes began this …

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Flashbacks of Havasupai

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Last night I went hiking down in the Narrows. There were no clouds in the sky. I returned to Cedar City around 7 P.M. and spent that evening reading Desert Solitaire by Edward Abbey. Sometime in the wee-hours of morning I had a strong dream about the entire Grand Canyon getting inundated with water ripping down every gorge and side canyon. Imagine the destruction to Hoover Dam? At the Bar 10 lodge where I used to work on the North Rim, I dreamed the employees had gone crazy and were gambling and playing poker. When I awakened images of what …

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Four Havasupai Men Saved Us

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It was a beautiful and pristine weekend on the Havasupai Reservation in Grand Canyon. Late on a Thursday night we hiked eight miles into the Grand Canyon to Supai Village and arrived at the tourist office shortly before day-break. After we paid our dues we headed straight for Supai campground two miles away to set up camp for the weekend. That very same day, I wanted to head back into the village while others went swimming in the falls. That afternoon I visited with various Supai villagers and engaged in small talk. This was my first time to Havasupai and …

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To the Hitch Hiker and Recluse

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My prayers go out to you tonight wherever you are. May God bless and protect you in your journeys far from home and family. When I’m driving down an empty road I’ll give you a ride and be a friend. I love your stories and how you write poems on leather shoes and how you sing to the southwestern moon. In the darkness on the edge you possess a strong connection to your Creator and he has not forgotten your sleepless wandering soul.

Dreams and Sacred Places

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I’ve dubbed the basement apartment where I’m living “the cave” three houses down from Southern Utah University. Lately I’ve been having vivid dreams at night in the windowless bedroom where I sleep. You can smell the soil of the earth in the foundation. At night I leave the door open to hear the crickets. I share my living space with several room-mates; spiders, ants and centipedes. Those varmints and me, we co-exist! lol… There is a mystery linked to the bedroom. These dreams are wonderful. Some of them are on par with waking reality. Early this morning I dreamed I …

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Something Weird Happened in the Hills

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I’m sure glad that things like that don’t happen on a regular basis. Something uncommon and rare doesn’t usually pop out of the bush like it did today. I’m not worried about anything paranormal or to do with wildlife. What I’m worried about are the few two-legged varmints that seem to haunt the hills. Anyone who spends enough time out there will know that it is common sense to carry some kind of self-defense whenever possible. You don’t want to stumble across someone’s marijuana field in a remote canyon and end up meeting the farmer. Or how about the poachers, …

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Mysteries, Miracles and Unknown happenings

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A couple years ago I had an amazing experience not easily explained. In fact I was baffled at first and then totally overjoyed. It all started when I received a fix-it ticket from a highway cop about a month before for a dead tail-light on my Suzuki Samurai. I ended up replacing the whole tail light assembly and was able to find it used at the local junk yard. The problem arose when I neglected to get the ticket taken care of. I left town for Spring Break that spring and was attending Dixie State College. When I returned I …

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Early in the Morning

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This morning I listened intently to whistling robins. They were chirping and cheering with an early morning joy. The lovely noise filled me with a bright primordial bliss. There’s a storm rolling in from the desert. The whirling gusts of cold shifting air whip the Ponderosa trees in the yard. The past three days the summer temperatures have spilled into the 90’s but alas the nimble clouds have come to pay Cedar City a visit. Their approach is most anticipated. Never curse the moisture that the Creator provides!

Thankyou God for Canyon Country

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Thank you Heavenly Father for this blessing of harmony. I am so grateful to be a part of the colorful landscape. Canyon Country runs in my blood. It is a part of my soul. When I become old, I want my carcass dumped in a flash flood gully where coyotes may discover my discarded flesh and laugh with joy. May they fill their empty bellies and be content. That is a powerful and pleasant thought. All around is sand and plateau, the homeland of the Anasazi. Their presence is felt on the ancient wind. Their whispers whistle through pinion and …

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The Rock Art of Canyon Lands

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There is no way to put into words how you feel when looking at huge murals of strange painted beings floating on canyon walls… These images predate the Anasazi and when they arrived in Grand Canyon perhaps they were perplexed by the archaic pictography scattered throughout Canyon Country? They give you a sense of awe when hiking to remote places like Horseshoe Canyon or the San Rafael Swell in Central Utah. I have always been fascinated with rock art. When I was in my early teens I’d check out stacks of books from the library on the subject. It developed …

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The Lonesome Wasteland

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I am resting by alcove deep in Canyonlands, dreaming of wasteland shadows and the ancient voices from the past. Thank goodness, I am far from town and listening to the sweet sound of crickets and mourning doves in a cottonwood. A dust devil sweeps the arid plain whipping tumble weeds. A dark black raven trails the light azure sky. The sandstone is baked enough to fry and scramble eggs. The desert is an enormous frying pan. The distant elevated plateau dances in a mirage. I’m alone and surrounded in pure isolation. Sure do miss those monsoon thunderheads that appear in …

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Outdooritis

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Yes, I’ve been diagnosed with this and too much homework at school is the cause. Right now I am working on a paper about Ethnomethodology and how it has become revolutionary in the field of Sociology. It basically invalidates all the old conventional theories like Marxism. Even society is an illusion to the Ethnomethodologist! Maybe I should become one? Thanks to desert beauty and crickets on warm summer nights, I know what I crave. I miss the dark monsoon storms of late July rolling over high desert plateaus and listening to the distant rolling thunder. The days are growing longer …

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Thoughts on Patience

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It is a real virtue to remain calm when storms unfold. As you think you are getting old now, just keep advancing forward through different levels of maturity. Then you will look back and realize your own immaturities. You will see that wisdom and love are not derived from arrogance or selfishness. Peace and solitude come from selfless introspection and trying your best at finding a way through darkness and suffering. Sadness plays an important role in your progress through life but true happiness is the beauty that brings balance when struggles abound.

King of Trees

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It has become Methuselah while the sweat of black sun drips from its wooden claws which break timeless howling winds Daily the cloud people travel beyond its barren branches into the ages of silence On the furthest edges of God’s Holy Imagination stands the test of time With dark sandstone plateaus below and High above on it’s heavenly throne rules the ancient Bristlecone Pine!

The Beautiful Quiet

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In town I feel like a stranger and so I go home to visit the hills. Them rolling mountains have always been my friends. They are always there waiting. My love for the wild is my inner peace. On deep summer nights the thunder rolls over canyon country and I hear the sound of rain when sleeping on these cold winter nights. Oh, how I miss summer’s warmth… In a dream, the cottonwoods sway to and fro on a heavy wind. I look into the sky and see patches of cumulus cloud ships as they journey through turquoise blue. And …

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In the Candled Night

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It is a candled night in dreams they sleep vast distances lay between the firelight dances in their minds with each passing hour the dream fades then grows an empty void fills the interior walls of yesteryear even yesterday a vision of pairs walks carefully down an imagined street the soft candled sky shows fiery hues spiraling galaxies throw colorful intensities all the while in the deepness of the soul the heart rakes the rugged densities of life the feeling of absence grows arduous in dark moonless hours when a beautiful song cannot be sung …i know a place where …

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Changing Course Just a Little…

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I’ve returned to Southern Utah University to finish my schooling. I am not too far from finishing a degree in Sociology. I will pursue graduate school after that and get a masters degree. My interest is Cultural Anthropology or a related field of study. So I’ve returned after a two year absence. I’ve been working as a wilderness guide, and have enjoyed many life changing ventures. Being able to traverse the vast distances of the Desert Southwest is a blessing. Being footloose and careless though hasn’t given me the happiness that I would like that usually comes from human affection …

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Faith and Steadfastness

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When the hardest trials come knocking on your door, that’s when you have to have the strongest faith and steadfastness. That is how it feels. That is the way it always will be. You will not be rewarded until after all the trials of your faith. The truth is that life is unpredictable. The way people react is completely unpredictable. Having a lot of faith is not for the faint of heart. My faith is strong this Sunday morning. I believe strongly in the Creator and am grateful for a powerful blessing that has come into my life. But the …

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Between Birth and Death

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My love of life is incredible and God made me into a pillar of light. Because I am happy to be free, to roam the quiet folds of reality, to travel the haunted night. I drive a small vehicle down the back roads and dirt roads of a big sky desert. My time is short on earth, but spectacular! When I die, allow the coyotes, buzzards, and varmints to eat my satisfied remains. in the end, I want to give something back to the world of creation that spawned me. How grateful I am to be a part of the …

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Remember Beauty When Feeling Uncertain

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I’m gearing to go somewhere in the next few weeks to go camping for a few days alone. I’m looking at Canyon Lands, or over to Cedar Mesa, by Blanding. Life is good you know, but times can be rough. That’s why sometimes you have to get out and smell the juniper and pinion, and listen to the wind whistle and cut through pine needles. It is a healing song almost, just to hear the wind and the creaking wood of those old trees. You know what I really love to hear? The thunder late on a summer night, somewhere …

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Busy Bees They Are

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In the darkness, when the stars flood the heavens, there are unknown things that prowl the night. The heavens bathe sandstone outcroppings and the landscape in soft, faint, interstellar glow. Coyote laughter disturbs the silence. The border collie begins barking wildly into the black, waking you from sleep. The coyotes head up the dry wash past the ranch house, chanting and singing an ancient song. The clamor grows faint until nothing is heard, while the wind softly carries an aroma of juniper and wet sage from off of higher plateaus. Earlier that day, a small sprinkle of rain was powerful …

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Feeling Those Instincts

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My writing is picking up. I am sitting alone in a motel room and extremely satisfied. What do ya know! At the moment I feel liberated after traveling long highway stretches and winding through steep rocky canyons. I am the nomadic vagabond! Tomorrow, I’ll be tearing across the Colorado Plateau from high ponderosa desert to sage covered sandstone mesa. The sweet smell of life and laughter is just fabulous, joyous, and spectacular. I sit all amazed at the center of this Creation. This world is apart of me. My mind is with the shifting clouds that roam colorful vistas. Life …

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