Nathan Arizona

Farewell, Old Flagstaff Town

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In my sleep, I heard the wind softly whispering through the bedroom window all night. The mountain air moved about the bedroom walls, flapping the posters, shaking the window blinds. As the sun came up in the east, the soft rays came through the window and painted the bedroom wall. Last night, I slept on the urgency to leave Flagstaff. I don’t really want to leave this town, this dream. Flagstaff has become home. But the larger southwest is my home, from low desert, to the ponderosa highlands. My home is where giant thunderclouds sweep the dry desert with curtains …

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The Howling Wind

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The pine trees howl with wind as it whips through the forest and cloud ships sail above the evergreen steeples. That bristlecone sky is ageless. The sticks crack beneath my feet. The forest howls like river rapids. I set the camping pack against a tree, lie down on the forest floor and close my eyes. As the tireless river flows like violent waves crashing into a sandy beach at midnight. The water is restless as if waiting to drown the living. But it is peaceful and enormous. The boundary of reality fades, and the mystery washes me away to a …

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Watching the Chimpanzees

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Chimpanzees are genetically 98% similar to human beings. That makes them the closest living relative to the human race. So why isn’t this okay? Is science really challenging religion? Or are we just keeping our minds closed to the evidence that is out there? Humans act similar to Chimpanzees. When the human male wants to show that he is stronger then another individual, he’ll demonstrate this by throwing objects at the floor, or raising his voice, or will act in an aggressive manner. This is the way that Chimpanzees behave. So what is the difference between us and them? They …

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The Jackelope

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The Jackelope is a rabbit species that inhabits the Western United States, and unlike any other type of rabbit, they grow antlers that are similar to a Mule Deer, or an Antelope. Evolutionary Theorists cannot explain as to how the Jackelope is able to produce antlers, or where this creature might have evolved. There is no evidence to explain how the Jackelope uses it’s antlers, or whether the animal is territorial or not. Walking into the Sunshine Truck Stop the other day, I saw a Jackelope mounted to the wall. Even dead you don’t see very many representations of this …

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To Coyote

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Coyote, wild and brave, thank you for coming within throwing distance of my camp that night. I was thrilled by the yips and howls of your siblings. There was an E.T. moon above the junipers, on that plateau near the Grand Canyon. I wanted to leave camp and walk in your direction, just seeing how close I could get before getting spooked.

Red Intoxication

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Cloud shadows ascend castling red cliffs. I’m beneath those sailing clouds as they travel the dense blue sky. The red desert is infinite to my measly existence. Traveling down highway 89, across Dinetah, I cannot keep my eyes off the desert landscape of tall cliffs, sandstone stairways, and thick bedrock. Little Hogans stand beneath large rock faces, and steep inclines that cast their dark shadows. It’s not necessarily the geology of Northern Arizona that steals my breath, nor the process of how the Navajo Sandstone was formed, or how the Moenkopi formation came to be, or how the Painted Desert …

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Oh Beautiful Toroweap!

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Out there, the desert whirl winds pass across white, cracked wastlands, beneath turquoise sky; sending tumble weeds into flight and stirring thick clouds of fine dirt. There are ranchers somewhere in those foothills below Mt. Trumbell. I am betting over half of them have never seen the Toroweap Overlook of the Grand Canyon. They’ve spent their whole lives ranching, farming, and taking care of livestock, but they really haven’t seen the complete beauty of this landscape or what hides in it? When my grandfather was a boy, he ran sheep out on the Arizona strip. He wandered all over the …

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About Northern Arizona

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Sometimes, I feel caught up in a doomed system, or that I am about to fail myself. But when I see beautiful rock formations and the nimble clouds as they pass through the heavens, I am reminded that life is so beautiful; that to keep going is the ultimate goal. Now I just need to vent, maybe even in an abstract way. That is what this journal is for… The sky is deep black, and I am seeing the infrared trees. I am crossing the wasteland that stretches farther then the eye can see. The desert shrubs and creosote speak …

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Do they have Souls?

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Yes, I believe that all living things have a soul. The defining characteristic for this is that most creatures have a desire to survive and reproduce, or at least the ability to do such. It is also my assumption that there doesn’t need to be a mother-child bond within every living species either. Most mammals would share this trait, but it may only play a small role in the kigdom of life. I also believe that plants and trees have deep spirits, but they don’t provide for, or take care of their offspring. Here’s a prime example of what I’m …

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Enter into Timelessness

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There is no time in the wilderness. Those red cliffs are older then human evolution. In so-called geological time, it takes millions of years to erode away mountains and create plateaus. A sandstone ridge shades twisted Junipers, and within their scaly branches, the wind never stops. Clouds constantly shift above the plateau, creating shapes that appear once, never to be seen again. They say if a tree falls over in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, should it matter? If a rockslide drops a million tons sandstone, does it matter? And does it matter that the …

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The Culture of Roomates

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Okay, I am trying to get a handle on room mates. They are starting to feel like family, so they are a social institution much like school, government, or the Mafia. So far, I enjoy the room mates, but the disagreements grow deeper. The key is silence, and learning to listen to them when they talk. For my Cultural Anthropogy class, I am supposed to do field work. I’ve been eyeing the social interaction of my room mates. How do other room mates interact with each other?

Crazy Jane

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She will confuse her companion, test his might, and his will. Her insecurity kills dreams. She’s clouded, worried, and faithless. Then she stops, and changes course. All is happy again. Everything is without manipulation. A few days go by, and then she’s worried and judgmental. Then, she’s happy again, and becomes afraid. She washes the dishes with deep sorrows. The husband watches her from the kitchen table. He’s uncertain. His muscles are sulking, his feet feel heavy on the linoleum. The woman is quiet. Her conspiracy is planted. There’s an escape, and she will vanish. He cannot place a finger …

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Maybe it was Jesse James?

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Somebody blew out all the windows in that ragged saloon. You know that old ghost town, on the edge of town? The building still stands, with broken glass on creaky floor boards. I feel deep, complex memories associated with that old western ruin. I can hear sounds from inside; something dances… a beating ghost heart… a wicked shadow still carrying two persuaders!

A Mysterious Grandmother

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The cloud shadows pass through my mind, through my spirit like flickering light. I venture into a trance-like day dream, somewhere quiet, deep into the dreamer’s wilderness. There are no cities, no structures, except black desert shadows trailing from the hot sun. The planet is a hearth of quiet suspension. I can meditate on what happened so long ago. There is nothing in my existence more powerful then the turning wind, and the flow of natural elements. Neither is there anything more great than the turquoise sky, and the deep sandstone canyons. Except for the image of an old rusty …

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Short of Crazy

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Well, I left Southern Utah, and I didn’t think I could. I left those familiar surroundings behind. My family is back in Utah, and I have no relatives in Northern Arizona. It has finally become quiet in my life. What I become absent from, I grow fond of. But my patience is strong, and I love a new start. If the good old AZ becomes my home, then so be it. My junk car cannot go off this mountain, because I’m afraid it wouldn’t make it back up. There is the desert below, that I want to see. There are …

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My Second Week in Flagstaff

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In Flagstaff, Arizona, I’ve been taking a Navajo History class at the college. Tonight I learned one of the original names for the San Francisco Peaks. The Navajo call them Dookoosliid, and yellow is their color. The peaks are sacred. Dookoosliid is the western boundry of Dinetah, the homeland of the Navajo People. Tonight, radiant yellow clouds glistened above the San Francisco Peaks. They were yellow, and then dark orange. Soon, everything turned into a soft purple glow as the sun disappeared. I want to hear the wind whip and howl through the pines, through the darkness of these woods. …

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A Night in the Kiabab

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The fire ignites the oily wood cracking and echoing into the forest. Infinite candled stars glitter in the black staircase above the trees. There are whispers in the Quaking Aspen in the dark grass. Faraway from the settlements A Great Horned Owl sings in the tallest Ponderosa. With every hoot he becomes a shadow. The ghost soon stops? as I enter into the darkness. I hear the fire behind… Eating the pitch, snapping and casting orange ribbons of light. Deeper and deeper my footsteps go into the black labyrinth? creating excitement mystery, courage, tears, and dreams. This was long ago. …

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In the Forest

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There in the sky’s cathedral, in the white painted aspens, where the land is still untouched; is a place where I can go to get away from the ignorance of the world. In this space is the space in which I tick. This miraculous landscape is alien to its own existence. It’s unlike anywhere else. Like the song of the hidden valley, where no one ever goes. I sit beneath a living tree, below the foot of a large sleeping hill. Now from this place, the Earth Mother speaks to me in dreams. In the sun soaked clouds, those dreams …

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Untitled

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In the dark mansion of space I ponder the old ways of this world. Will we ever return? What are humans without? With every traffic noise and every humming car The silence remains there afterwards. A silence greater then humans. The pine tree quietly waits, the forest is waiting. The mountains keep covered secrets. There is a greater cause weaving into us, illusions or truths. With every lifestyle and luxury, Death eventually comes to everyone. Death converts humans to the quietness… of the flowing river, and the natural flow. I’m waiting for the mystery to carry me away over vast …

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Moving to Flagstaff, Arizona

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I have lived a total of six days in Flagstaff now. I don’t know what to think of this place yet? I love the singing Ponderosa Pine that engulf the sprawling town. There are so many trees, that I couldn’t even find my way around. A few times, I got lost. This town is actually environmentally friendly; at least when compared to the towns of Utah. A lot of ravens take up residency too. It’s a quiet place, except for the trains. They sound their horns at all hours. It isn’t bothersome though. Compared to Southern Utah, this area is …

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Towards Them Hills, I Go

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In a heart beat, I’d rip down the walls of square existence, and all of civilization, in exchange for simple beauty. My own shadow speaks. My enemies are those that destroy beauty. I leave town with pop in my jug and the cool wind coming through the window. Towards the rolling hills I go, covered with dense Juniper, and Pinion Pine, where cloud shadows twist and roll. My pop jug is full of Mountain Dew; and I’m feeling the cold air hitting my face. I?m happy and humble. The desert clouds hum above my car, as it travels down the …

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Black Shadow

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I thought I heard the unseen, while sleeping? Nothing opened the door, but it remained closed. Yet, Nothing walked in and I heard him jingling his keys! I also heard him punching the code into the key pad! Again, no one came through the door. The door remained closed. I see an ungodly shape on the wall. The inanimate black shadow watches me without eyes.

Introspection: Am I a Hermit?

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I was talking with my grandpa today, about hermits, those bearded men that still seem to haunt the mountains living in makeshift huts or sheep camps. He said I ought to take my camera and go photograph the few that I’ve come by and try to capture them in their routine. Of course I’m wandering if this would be considerate or respectful towards them? I assume that these folks live in the hills because maybe they don’t want anything to do with civilization. These individuals truly live in the quiet places, yet, I don’t quite understand where they may be …

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Scaring the Beast

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I’d been hiking through sage, and sand for hours. The sky was blue and calm, but small clouds soon grew thunderous. I brought my two dogs with me on that afternoon excursion in July. The wind wailed, and whistled through stone crevices. The cloud shadows began to merge, and soon rain was falling. I was hours away from my vehicle parked on the highway’s edge. After spending time at a petroglyph site, I was able to find a small cave, to wait out the storm. Lightning clapped and echoed through the canyon… As I reached the entrance of the cave, …

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Peering Into the Unknown

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Stars and quasars burn forever, like candles, in the stillness of the universe. Beyond the earth’s atmosphere, the universe is teaming with hidden activity. Undocumented life forms dwindle and cluster in the dark crevices of outer space. Their intelligence sometimes exceeds ours and they play with our imaginations. They have always known us and they visit the earth like tourists and vacationers. Every now and then, strange lights are seen on the desert, and appear when they think no one is near. Aliens have been coming to the earth for a long time, always leaving us with mystery. The desert …

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Recognize the Beauty

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When humanity becomes too noisy; forget the contests and debates of human existence. Venture into the shadows of this quiet world. If you go to the farthest boundries of the wilderness, or into your own imagination, always remember, that you are lucky to be in a beautiful world. It never leaves your side. The Earth, the forest, the desert, is an entity that cares for you. Whether you’re lost in the confusion of some conflict, or basking in the moments of peace, you are always valuable, and indispensable in the face of the Creator.

Lightning and Snowflakes

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Thunder rolls across the sky in winter time. How strange that the lightning would spark on the last part of November, while snow is falling. Oh, that powerful thunder echoed across the dark valley as I was heading home tonight, with snow flakes smashing into my windshield. Beauty is everywhere in this world. The desert is so beautiful, with the deep sparkling snow covering the valley, and covering the mountains above.

White Painted Aspens

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With the wind, Aspen leaves clap in cheerful crowds. Yet, their yellow bodies barely cling against winter air. The Aspens creak, like rusty wooden doors, wood screeching against wood. With the wind, the trees move in waves as grass in meadows. Leaves clap and fall from white painted branches. The forest sings like rivers.

The Yellow Sandstone Canyon

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An aged river slithers through the yellow sandstone canyon. For millions of years it has. The clouds are passing through the sky, like there is no human existence. This world continues without the presence of humans. We should be grateful to be here, we should try harder to protect it. I am sitting out here, with everything washed in a soft glow. The blue sky is gentle, not rough. The clouds are majestic, old looking, yet they constantly shape shift. The water in them is ancient. The water flowing in the river, carrying the canyon’s sediments, is ancient. The Earth …

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