Reflections

The Sunshine was cold this morning, and the grass was frosted. The sky was deep blue! The leaves are changing quickly. Yet, it is still September? I am not used to this early transition. It seems as though summer disappeared. The crickets are singing, but those evenings are numbered. In recent years we’ve had very warm autumns and winters. The cold spell is hopefully short. When it passes, it will warm up. Not like summer though. This is the ON/OFF season when Thunderstorms seem to strengthen, especially at lower elevations. Its prime time for the Monsoon rains, but the last …

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Every time I return back to classes and college studies, I get this weird restless feeling inside. Kind of like I don’t want to be here, but I am sticking it out. If I had my way, I’d be traveling the Southwest, and doing my photography. I wouldn’t be stuck to this tiny campus, nor this town and its boundaries. There’s no soul in all of this. But like usual, I’ll keep on going. It feels like everybody wants me to conform in certain ways, and the pressure is pushing from all directions. It never stops. Wanting to break free …

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I took my grandparents on a little outing today in the van. They’re truck has been broke down for about a month. My brother and our cousin have been trying to get my grandpa’s truck running, so he can keep the business running. Things have been tight lately. Today we went on a 234 mile round trip, and spent the whole time finishing a few chores, and enjoying the journey. We drove across the Arizona Strip on the way back home. Gigantic desert clouds blanketed the desert sky as far as the eye could see, and cloud shadows dotted the …

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It’s true freedom when you go into the mountains all alone, and spend the night by yourself far away from any road or trail. We have some mountains behind our ranch here in Southern Utah and they are pretty isolated. I was in my late teen years, when I would often venture into them on a regular basis during the summer. I dodged a few rattlesnakes. My stupidity, and hunger for fear clouded my judgment at times. Always, I’ve had my eye on the unknown, hidden things lurking in those mountains. The Blue Sky against Mother Earth, and the smell …

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On my way back home from a trip to Salt Lake City, I watched the sun drop in the west. Its rays illuminated a mass of rain clouds above some mountains along I-15. They glittered in colors of red, purple, and maroon. As I watched that grand closing, I felt so grateful for life. An eagle silhouetted in black by the setting sun was sailing on the winds of bad weather. He was soaring below great thunderheads, and lightning was flashing everywhere. He was a small creature compared to the enormous expanse desert. Without his presence though, everything would have …

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On some days, I wander what is wrong with this world. The confusion that hate creates is nothing more then an unreasonable burden. Some people are probably deep in their own pain. I believe that every Human Being has the power to change their ways and drop the hate, racism, and stereotypes. Weeding out personal egos has always been a challenge in me. Racism is going to die hard in Amerikkka. It’s sooo deeply rooted in the US Nation; it won’t die without a fight. Resistance is the only way. Could the fact be simple? If hate ever disappeared from …

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After watching a documentary on the Grand Canyon tonight, I quickly became homesick. I’ve been there when the tourists have gone into hibernation and the winter snows have settled upon the ledges. The South Rim is very peaceful in the wintertime and I hope to plan a trip soon. It will help me rejuvenate from the modern society that has sucked my spirit dry. Way out there, in the middle of those canyonlands, the stars glow like candles at night. It’s a desert dreamer’s escape from the reality that plagues this sad, sad world.

It was cloudy today, I thought it might rain. The weather cheered up though and it’s warm and sunny. The trees are calm and not much is happening in the little town of Cedar City. While eating breakfast on the porch this morning, a hummingbird came into the yard pollinating the flowers, and it stayed for a while. Cute little fellow, he was happy! We don’t see too many of them in mother’s yard. Out in Parowan where my grandmother has hummingbird feeders hanging all over the place – including the garden, there are plenty of them flying everywhere. They’ve …

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Today the rain clouds are coming in quickly. Last night it rained hard for about twenty minutes. Utah has been suffering a five year drought. Until about four days ago, the desert hasn’t seen a drop of rain. Fire danger was at extreme, and everything looked dried up. They say this Utah is the second driest in the US. Last summer, it was one fire after another. The other day I went north of town in the direction the thunderheads were traveling. About 18 miles out, I parked the car on the desert and watched the sun slowly go down …

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Here’s another post for today. Just wanted to add some extra thoughts, that are either excessive, or depressive! Lets add to the idea of self-pity; how do you eliminate such a pitiful disease? Its a hard thing to overcome to a large extent. Learning proper compassion is much harder! You’re either serving your own agenda and interests, or your actually caring and helping other people! Trying to overcome the fact that you are an incredibly self-centered person, is like trying to dodge a hurdle as high as Mt. Everest. I thought I had somewhat overcame the issues of Selfishness, but …

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