My Experience As An Outlaw

Let’s start a political movement. Several ideas keep flooding my head and I can no longer ignore them. I have a dream for America, and it’s starts in my local community. Conservative hill-billy Southern Utah, here I come. Consider me both conservative and middle-of-the-road but I have ideas that run deeper than civilization and I intend to focus this political energy into a grassroots movement. The first batch of issues I wish to address are as follows; government accountability & transparency, police misconduct, racism & discrimination in the community and asking the “hard questions” to politicians who we elect into office and holding them accountable if they skimp out. All of this starts at the community level, in my own back yard – little cow-poke Cedar City.

Last Saturday night I sang Folsom Prison Blues in a cold cement cell in the Iron County Jailhouse. It made me feel like Johnny Cash. After returning from St. George, Utah on a date with a great red-headed gal, I was pulled over by a polite rookie cop & five minutes later escorted from my Jeep, accompanied by a second officer and formally arrested in front of my date. I wasn’t even allowed to walk her to the door, appropriately. This angered me pretty bad. It turns out my license was suspended and they had a warrant for my arrest over an unpaid ticket. Five months before, I was pulled over & cited for not having proof of insurance while running an errand in my mother’s truck. My sweet mom claimed she would take care of the ticket & clear my name, since it happened in her truck. It’s safe to assume it didn’t happen. It was my responsibility, anyway.

I didn’t have to spend the night in the slammer thanks to my buddy, Tom. The ticket was dismissed on Monday morning with an agreement that I plead guilty for failing to appear in court. The judge fined me $137 & $35 to get my driver’s license reinstated. What a wonderful money-making scheme for the county and state. They made an example out of me; made me feel like an outlaw! It was empowering. Now I declare myself a bonafide rebel. I will misbehave, wreck havoc, and change the world in every legal way possible. I will act as an outlaw in the most law-abiding sense that any legal outlaw should act. I will change the system.

Thanks to two donut-hunters, I have the inspiration needed to write this rant. With all the stories I’ve been hearing about borderline harassment of American citizens by local law enforcement in this town, It’s time to raise the bar and set higher standards of conduct for Utah lawmen. And why are Washington and Iron Counties making bank off of law-abiding citizens like us when they should be chasing after real criminals instead of harassing citizens!? We are still living in the old west. There’s a lot of room to abuse power in Southern Utah. I’ve done my best to respect the efforts of local police and I am one of the most law-abiding citizen you’ll ever meet. Unfortunately two police officers barked up the wrong tree when they decided to mess with me. We can argue that they were just doing their job and this was routine, but I feel wronged for many a reason. . . we can continue this discussion but I don’t feel like writing any more. It get’s me upset.

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